Dear Corpse of my Former Husband,
Is it time to stop fighting.... time to stop hoping....time to stop trying....time to let go? Have you given us a terminal diagnosis that I have not been ready to hear? Are we doing the dead man's rally.....where someone you could swear was knocking the door suddenly seems to miraculously start doing better only to be dead by the end of the day. You suddenly have come around again...or at least 1/2 of you...is this only going to lead to you back to your catatonic state.
Stage IV...you know it is a death sentence, just not sure when
Grade IV...like wildfire....it spreads like wildfire. One day there is nothing, the next a stomach sized tumor has invaded all your major organs.
You fight and fight and fight and fight...your told you can make it....it will be OK.....that there is still hope....but then one day the doctor walks in the room and tells you it is time....time to give up, throw in the towel....accept that you are going to die soon....that the war is over.
It is so difficult to find peace with dying when you have been fight mode for so long....Always conflicted with wanting to feel the peace and acceptance of letting go but not wanting to let go of the hope...
Is it time for me to give up hope? I'm I looking for hope in a hopeless situation?
Robbed Blind,
Your Wife
